The Conversation

Make Your Responsibility Real

You've identified the outcomes you're helping achieve. Your role, in each of these cases, is to help someone achieve something meaningful. Now you need to talk about it with the person who is depending on your help.

Your goal is to establish an environment where you can deliver your best work and, in the process, help them succeed. Recognize that this isn’t about you asking for something. It’s about you offering something they need. 

And it starts with an honest discussion. 

This discussion might feel risky. But the conversation is simpler than you think.

This is another glimpse at the next level: 1:1 conversations are where responsibilities are born 

The Opening

Here’s the simple opening line:

“I’m helping you with [this work]. I want to make sure I'm actually helping as much as possible. Can you share with me the bigger picture, so that I can be sure I'm making the right decisions and providing the greatest value to you?"

That's it. You're not pitching ideas. You're not trying to impress them. You're just asking them to help you understand what actually matters so you can help them succeed.

What You're After

You want to walk away with three simple things:

What do you need from me, and why?

Let them tell you what they actually need. You’re not asking about your work product, necessarily; try to get them to share the mission-related outcome that you, specifically, are helping them address. If you can, encourage them to talk about why this matters to them. What outcome are they accountable for? Maybe they’ll give you the insights you need. Maybe you’ll see more clearly how you can actually help them. Maybe not. But it’s a starting point. You’re establishing a foundation where you’re collaborating on strategic outcomes. When you understand why they need your help, you can make better decisions about how best to provide it. 

When do I need to check back with you before proceeding?

Some decisions you'll make on your own. Some may need their input. Ask them directly: are there decisions where they should be looped in before moving forward? They might say "you're the expert on this—you decide." Or they might say "always run X by me first." Or something in between. The goal isn’t a power grab for authority. It’s to establish the terrain where you’re free to deliver your best work.

What will it look like if I do such a great job that you're ready to give me a "far exceeds expectations" evaluation?

This is your north star. What would excellence look like from their perspective? What would signal that you're not just doing the work, but delivering real value? This becomes what you're aiming for.

Keep It Conversational

This isn't a tense, formal meeting. It's a real conversation. You might have it during a regularly scheduled 1:1. You might grab coffee. The format doesn't matter.

During the discussion, you don't need to have all the answers. You certainly don't need to come prepared with a consulting pitch. You're just asking a few basic questions and listening. You’re exploring, together, how your work can help them succeed. 

If the conversation doesn't flow smoothly, that's okay. This might be a conversation that they’ve never had with anyone else. Congratulations - you’re already elevating your status as a strategic thinker. Regardless of whether it feels smooth or not, it might take a few conversations to develop real clarity. That's normal.

What You Walk Out With

You don't need a formal agreement. You need:

• Understanding of what they actually need from you and why
• Clarity about which decisions are yours to make
• A sense of what excellence looks like to them

That's enough to start. As you work, you'll learn more. The conversation doesn't end here—it continues as you both learn more about what’s actually working and what needs refinement.

Why This Matters

This conversation moves you from executing assignments to owning a responsibility. To own a responsibility, you need two things. You need alignment (how my work will contribute to the mission) and accountability (how my success will be judged). These are the two requirements that set the stage for you to do your best work. Top performers know these are essential. If these are vague at the start of their work, they keep gently coming back to ask clarifying questions until alignment and accountability are crystal clear.  

The reason, of course, is that it’s very hard to commit your full effort to something you don’t fully understand. And commitment is the fuel that propels you through the four stages of value-add.